...and other duties as assigned.

Lifest.

I seriously don't even know where to begin. Though the preparations were daunting, stressful and at times TOTALLY RIDICULOUS *see previous post*, every bit of it was worth it in the end. The crowd was enormous. Attendance was up 7% from last year. We had the biggest Sunday Worship Service in Lifest history. It was totally unbelievable.

As I tell you a bit about my week, let us keep in mind the line in my imaginary intern contract... "other duties as assigned..." For that is really what the week was, a great deal of the time.

For starters, I ran the Talent Competition, located on the Edge stage. This consisted of 24 bands basically competing against one another for the chance to play on the grandstand on Saturday afternoon, and ultimately, to travel to Nashville TN to play in front of a bunch of record labels. Pretty cool stuff.

The entire thing was AWESOME. I didn't have any major issues, save the fact that the first morning one of my bands called me to say that there wasn't a drum set at the stage where they were going to be performing their set on an hour later. After about 30 phone calls and a good deal of begging, I located a set, got it moved, and set up with 8 minutes to spare. Thank you, thank you very much...

Anyway, all of my neuroses and anal-ness paid off in the end, because everything was really well organized, and I had a plan for everything and it was super. I was very relieved, because I was paranoid that I was going to forget something major, or not know that I was supposed to do something. But all was well.

My other main task for the week was to man the info booth. mm'k, so lets think this one through, shall we? We're bringing in about 17,000 people a day to this festival, many who have never been before, and lots who aren't from the area. So we need an info booth. Its super important. So who should we put IN the info booth? Oh, how about the intern who has never been here before, and isn't from the area? That would probably be the best option. Yup, best choice ever.

*rolls eyes*

The only way I made it through my shifts at the info center was by saying, "that is an excellent question - and though I don't have the answer for you, I can find out" I would then whip out my handy dandy laminated sheet of phone numbers and radio channels for who was in charge of what, (which I had made ALL of the day before. Would anyone like to place a bet on how long it takes to put together, copy, cut, paste and laminate 350 tags? I didn't think so)

I also find it necessary to mention that the radios rebelled against the info center. And it wasn't just me, it was all three of us. We were radio-impaired. Every day - new radio, new battery - no difference. They hear us, we don't hear them. And then they get REALLY pissed off because we keep repeating ourselves. I stopped using the accursed instrument in favor of a good old cell phone.

I ALSO find it necessary to tell you that I looked absurd walking around the grounds. Well, in the info booth anyway. See, I needed my phones, and the radio. So I had my personal phone on my left hip, my company cell on my right hip, and the radio clipped to my back belt loop. Whenever anything buzzed I just started grabbing at my belt, trying to figure out from whence the bzzzzzzz came... Yup.

Anyway.

So yeah, me + info center = not the best idea ever. Especially the first night when everything went wrong, and the computers that were supposed to go up at 5:00 to start ticket sales for next year DIDN'T go up, and when they finally did, they said that 3/4 of the campsites were sold out already, 12 minutes after we opened sales... yeah. But I was super happy that it was a Christian event, because if it wasn't the people might have gotten angry or something....

My favorite angry lady was the one who brought in an entire posse of people... marches over to my table and says, "I have a complaint"
I'm thinking *me too. You're interrupting my happiness*
Well see, her dilemma was that there was no water on her camping field, and the people hadn't come by to pump it in yet. So I said something to the effect of "I'm very sorry about that. Let me make a phone call for you and see what I can do"
She stares at me with her ANGRY EYES, and says, "that's all you're going to do?"

Now okay, lets think this one through, shall we? My options here are severely limited. My tushie must remain in the info booth, otherwise, there would be no one there to track down answers for everyone's questions. So all I can really do is make a call. But honestly - if I could have gone out and hopped in my brand new water pumping truck that I just bought and pumped the water for her myself, I totally would have.

So those were my two main jobs - or rather, the ones that I knew about ahead of time. Here is where the "other duties as assigned" bit comes in.

You all know someone famous, and its me. And I'm famous for 2 reasons! Lets face it, it was bound to happen at some point.
I was Bob the Tomato. Yes, the 5 foot 5 inch walking NOT talking tomato.
I have some comments to make on this topic. Would anyone like to place bets on exactly how hot the inside of a tomato gets when it is frolicking in the middle of a crowded outdoor marketplace filled with people intent on hugging him on a 90 degree day? Because its pretty darn hot. And there IS a fan inside, but it is NOT, as one person called it, "air conditioning"... it is a fan to keep you INFLATED, so you do not look like a ROTTEN tomato. Just to clarify.
And also, let me mention the whole "vision" bit... 'cause there really isn't any. You know how the Bible says "we but see through a glass darkly?" yeah, well I know how that feels. You can see just a little bit out of the area where Bob's eyebrows would be, and again down where his mouth is, which is in the vicinity of my knees... so if you really want to look at what you're doing, you have to bend your head down and kind of make it go sideways a little bit. But you're only in the suit for an hour and a half, so your neck is TOTALLY AWESOME when you get out. There is also a very heavy backpack to wear with the fans on it, and shoes that are 6 times larger than my feet.

But I was the best tomato ever. It was really awesome. Had all these little kids running up to me and affixing themselves to my legs. Granted, I couldn't SEE them, but I could feel them. So I tried to pat them on the head, hoping I wasn't poking them in the eye with my 4 fingered gloves. And then there was the one who was yelling "BOB, IS IT REALLY YOU? IS IT REALLY YOU BOB??" like, 12 times in a row at the top of his lungs. And in order to make Bob nod, I had to literally BOW. But in all seriousness, it was great to see how excited the kids were to see myself and Larry. And yes, I have pictures. And I actually have better than that. I have a video of the Bob and Larry boogie: Me and Jeramie (the cucumber) dancing in our outfits. No easy task, but VERY amusing.

Another task? I receive the following phone call:
John: Sarah, I need you over at the HappyFunTime Cafe in 20 minutes
Me: um, okay, but I'm in the middle of the talent competition.
John: Yeah, but we really need you over here. AJ needs your help

*AJ the animated allusionist is a magician. Enough said*

So I arrived the first time, and was his dog handler. I was super, by the way, and Bear and I really bonded.

The second day I was informed that I was going to actually be in one of his illusions. I was to be the one who pops out of the box.

Nothing against that, but it was REALLY in the middle of things that day. But I was the only one small enough to fit in the box. So I went. And I was shown the box, and how to do the trick, and we practiced it. But when I went to climb out, AJ said "no - you should stay in it from now until the show"

*Note - the show is 40 minutes away*

Really? Because its 85 out, and you want me to sit in a box? SUPER! And then he says the best part...: "We're going to move you onto the back of the stage in about 10 minutes, so you'll be up there the rest of the time. Don't move.

Would anyone like to know my position in this box? I knew you would. Okay, so I'm sitting on the equivilant of a bicycle seat, only slightly wider. But I have to sit Indian style in order for the trick to work. and since the box is small, I must bend over. So I sat in a cardboard box on a stage in 85 degree weather with my nose between my knees for 40 minutes, waiting for the moment when I got to POP out of the box.

....other...duties...as....assigned....

Over the course of the week I also drove golf carts *TOTALLY FUN*, ran odd errands, moved more tables, chairs and boxes than I can say, helped with the Compassion handout one evening, and 1000 other things.. I also sat front row for Skillet, pyrotechnics and all *AWESOME* and even got one of Jen Ledger's drumsticks. And Pastor Jacob is green with envy....
Sat in the front row for Third Day, met Jeremy Camp, talked to Paul Young, Reid Ribble, and Peter Eide.

Yup... life of a rockstar....

in a box. and a tomato suit.